LANGUAGE DETERMINES EXPERIENCE
The only way you can experience the world is through your senses (see, hear, touch/feel, smell, taste). And whenever you tell someone about an experience you use sensory language.
Try to describe a person, house, memory or state of mind: every word you use has something to do with what it looks like, sounds like, feels like etc.
And when someone describes something to you your subconscious automatically turns it into pictures/film, sounds and feelings, so you can grasp what he or she is on about. I heard a biologist on the radio say: “Nature on the radio is looking with your ears”. And he was right!
The language used allows you to connect meaning to something you hear (or read) about and this process determines what emotion comes up. Can you imagine the prevailing emotions for people who mainly see things in a negative light?
Read this next sentence and try to make sense of it: ‘I see a muscular, bald headed man with lots of tattoos crossing the street with a weak old lady.’
What is you interpretation?
• Negative: ‘That creep is trying to steal her hand bag!’.
• Neutral: ‘There is a man crossing the street with a senior citizen.’
• Positive: ‘Hey, look at that tough guy helping his granny! How sweet.’
The facts are the facts, but the meaning you attach to them is your (unconscious) choice!
‘DIRTY’ LANGUAGE IS HARMFUL
All language that is unnecessarily negative is bad for you. Language lets you focus on problems or solutions for instance. Language has biochemical consequences:
• Concentrate on sickness, symptoms, drawbacks and problems and you’ll experience negative emotions (fear, sadness, frustration, hopelesness). That state of mind fires on the production of stress hormones (your body prepares for the crises you just imagined) which are known to slow down the immune system. Try Googling ‘stress hormones’ or ‘cortisol’.
• If on the other hand you concentrate on what you CAN do, what your goals are, on ways of achieving them and how to enjoy the process, you will influence your emotions positively (you gain energy, feel hope, look forward to achieving something worthwhile) and that will trigger the production of happiness hormones which will boost your immune system.
KINDS OF DIRTY LANGUAGE
There are way more kinds of dirty language than I can put in this blog, but I have found the ones below to be extremely relevant in the context of a chronic condition like Parkinson’s:
SICKENING LANGUAGE
“I’m getting sick and tired of that. It gives me an ulcer. It makes me puke.” Etc.
I’m convinced that this kind of language is bad for your health. Don’t ask me how it works exactly, but I’ve seen way too many examples of people ending up with the symptoms they ‘threaten’ themselves or the world with.
Tip 1: Listen to yourself What exactly do you say (or think!) to yourself. Does that include stuff like that? If so, immediately change i tinto something helpful. Something like: “I’ll start doing that differently right now. In similar situations I’ll say: ….”
NEGATIVE STATEMENTS
“I don’t want … anymore. I want to get rid of… right now. I hate …”
The problem with this is that you state what you DON’T want and thus focus on that. Remember: What you pay attention to grows. So guess what grows when you exclusively focus on what you don’t want. And even worse: You don’t focus on what you DO want, which makes it extremely hard (impossible!) to reach.
Tip 2: Listen to yourself, ‘catch’ yourself using positives (and immediately give yourself a high five!). And if you should find yourself utter something negative, correct it right away.
Tip 2a: Don’t beat up on yourself for any ‘wrong’ sentence or thought. That didn’t work when you were a child and it still doesn’t. Reword and give yourself to more pats on the back (one for being so alert and one for cleverly rewording that thing you inadvertently said).
NEGATIVE RETORIC
“Why me, oh Lord? Why do I always have bad luck? What filthy trick is life playing on me now?!”
As briefly mentioned in an earlier blog article: your subconscious is an ‘answering machine’. It will come up with an answer to any question, no matter how silly. And the answers to suggestive questions it comes up with are generally extremely negative.
“Because you deserve it. Because your lucks just genetically stinks. And: More sh*t than you can imagine” Respectively.
(strike all of that right now, please. It’s just to make a point!)
Tip3: (is almost the same as the first 2 tips): Be very alert to stupid questions and correct them at once. (for instance: “How can I keep enjoying life?)
LANGUAGE THAT MAKES THE ENEMY OF A DISEASE
Many patienst view their condition as something hostile and you can hear it in their laanguage: “I refuse to give up the fight! I’ll go down battling. You must stay on your guard!”
This creates an inner conflict. The ‘healthy part’ of your body is suddenly at war with the ‘sick part’. That gets you stressed and again: that’s bad for ya!
Tip 4: Even if it sounds crazy, consider the sickness a part of you (and it is). Befriend it, enter into a relation with it and then you can actually negotiate with it (A great topic for a later blog. Remind me to write that one some time!).
HOW TO PROTECT YOURSELF FROM OTHER PEOPLE’S DIRTY LANGUAGE
That’s easy: in the exact same way as I’ve described in the tips so far. Learn to alert yourself about it and (in your own mind) reword what people are saying in a constructive way.
Tip 5: To increase your chances of actually using this stuff, I would urge you to:
1. Write a post-it (or any other small note) for every kind of dirty language explained here. Something like “any goal or wish with ‘no’ or ‘not’ in them. Reword to something I DO want.’
2. During the next two weeks, stick one of these notes in a place you can’t help but read them several times a day.
3. Every time you pass (and read) the note, do what it says: think of a ‘transgression’ and change it for the better.
Lots of success with this! And please let me know how it works out for you below!
Warm regards,
Koen Lucas, Health Coach