NEGATIVE THOUGHTS : NOT GOOD (OR ARE THEY?)
In earlier blog articles a good deal has been said about negative thinking. And about the importance of constructive (or if you must: ‘positive’ thinking. I’ve even described how to handle negative thoughts: catch yourself doing it and change the wording.
But even people who (by relentless repetition) get really good at that, will sometimes be frustrated with their own tendency to think negative thoughts. And what’s worse: many people blame themselves for not thinking constructive thoughts consistently!
Negative thinking absolutely has its benefits: it makes you aware of danger and risk. So let nobody convince you HAVE to ALWAYS think positively!
The tips in blog article 2 deserve a little nuance and that’s exactly what you’ll find right here.
THE EXTENDED VERSION
The extended version of the technique in blog article 2 is as follows:
1. Catch yourself thinking negative or harmful stuff.
2. Decide what it is this thought warns you about.
3. Appreciate the warning and take it to heart.
4. Reword the thought, explicitly taking the warning into account.
An example:
1. I’m thinking: “What if Parkinson’s will eventually force me to work less / stop exercising / quit a hobby?”
2. I realize this is a distinct possibility and wonder how probable this possibility is (how big is the chance of that happening objectively? How soon might that happen?) and I sincerely thank my subconscious for alerting me.
3. I now know what the risk is and allow myself to focus on changing the thought in such a way that it is no longer problem-oriented, but solution-oriented. I change It into:
a. “How can I hang on to that which I want to hold on to as long as I can?” and:
b. “What exactly does that which I’m afraid of losing get for me, how can I hang on to that yield, even if at some point my fear becomes reality.?”
NO MORE SELF-BLAMING
This way self-blaming is impossible, because the ‘negative’ thought has a positive intention, it is in your best interest! You gladly and gratefully accept it and use the warning to come up with an alternative course of action that will solve the problem. And so you avoid a self-inflicted inner conflict (blaming yourself).
When people hear this for the first time, some of them are having trouble with ‘thanking the subconscious’. “Am I really supposed to sit here and thank myself?”
Well yeah, please do. Everything you ever think comes out of your subconscious. There are theories saying that conscious thoughts make up a ridiculously small percentage of the total.
And in your subconscious every lesson ever learned is stored, including everything you should be afraid of in any way.
So please appreciate the negative thoughts that pop up and use them as a welcome early warning system in order to then come up with something really creative and constructive. Something that will benefit you tremendously!
Please share any questions and observations below.
Warm regards,
Koen Lucas, Health Coach