The last blog Koen posted is about acceptance of Parkinson (and not all consequences). A nice article and how did this work for me. Did I accept Parkinson’s? Should I accept Parkinson? Will or will I have to accept Parkinson. I really looked for my relationship with Parkinson’s. Is it something that is beyond me, or is it something of myself. Should I embed or shall I go on with the fight. In short, a lot of thoughts that came up.
Let’s go back in time. In 2007 we changed our house. I did a number of things myself, including moving our terrace. The result was a new terrace and a frozen shoulder. That lasted a few months until the summer of 2007. On our holyday in Ommen my shoulder came loose again and my fingers got a life of their own……….. they started to shake. A strange experience. Stress symptoms i thought and went on almost all of 2008
And my wife thought different. At last, in mid-November I went to the doctor and shortly after I was diagnosed Parkinson, something I had not expected. What does that mean? For me? My relationship? The care of our boys? And my work. A lot of uncertainty. Shortly afterwards came my business by annoying conditions to an end. And it was spring! What to do?
For me it is very important is that I can guide our children towards adulthood. And that seemed, given all information on the internet and the opinion of the neurologist an achievable goal. Looking back, I then forgot Parkinson for a while until I got more symptoms. Information on the Internet, the Dutch Parkinson Association and the Parkinson’s nurse worried me. Physical symptoms, I thought I can handle, but what about the mental symptoms?
Then something strange happened to me. I was on the bike from home for some shopping. It was beautiful weather with some wind and suddenly it stroke me how beautiful it is that you can bike. If you realize what is needed to get ahead by bike is a little miracle and it is beautiful that we can. What I bought that day i can’t remember………………… and I will never forget this experience. Since then I wonder more about little things that are well regarded actually very large.
I’m not sure that means to me that I have accepted Parkinson’s. I do not really know. What I think is that I have accepted life. And that’s still beautiful.
Kees